literature

Vision x Reader |Leucarpum|

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You were going to be sneaky- oh, yes. You were going to be perfectly sneaky. Vision would never know what hit him. Especially since he was still young; still weak.

Still impressionable.

There was no denying your crush on the android. Was it weird? Yes. Were you weird? Of course. This can only lead one to conclude that you were made for each other.

So you hurried along, searching through the base for your favorite Christmas-colored, artificially intelligent, basically godlike, Avenger.

It wasn’t hard to find him- he was floating beside Wanda, watching carefully as she worked away on some sort of sewing project.

You slowed yourself down, coming to a stop in the doorway. You leaned against the frame, one hand expertly hidden behind your back, the other resting on your hip. The sprig of leaves and holly in your palm was perfectly concealed, ready to catch Vision by surprise.

“What are you two up to?” You mused, your call making both heads pop up and bring both pairs of eyes on you. You smiled at them, friendly and jovial, completely unsuspecting.

“I was showing Vision how to make the Christmas sweater. He did not know what it was, and after I explained, he seemed to be very interested in having one. So far, it is going well. It will only have one sleeve, though...down middle.”

“Hm. You may want to consider going out and buying him one, instead.” You replied when she held up the fabric, its sleeve becoming the equivalent of an elephant trunk on the poor, mangled sweater. “Which’ll be great, because I need to steal Vision from you for a few seconds.”

“I do not believe you are capable of stealing me, Ms. (Name).” Vision responded, “It would not be difficult for me to escape your grasp if you were to attempt it. As well as the fact that there are several cameras and security measures in place to prevent you from-”

“It’s a figure of speech, Vizh.” You rolled your eyes, gesturing for the endearing cyborg to come to you. “It’ll only take a second, I promise.”

“I thought you said it would take a few seconds.”

You resisted the urge to sigh. “Another figure of speech, big guy. Just come here, please.” You pulled him from the room, into the secluded hallway. “Now, I have a question. How familiar are you with the holiday season?”

“I believe this is my first experience with it.” He said, brow furrowed as if trying to think back, like he had more life experience than five months, give or take. “I do not believe I have any.”

“Okay, follow-up; how much do you know about Christmas traditions?”

“I would wager little to nothing. However, it is not difficult for me to research it and discover everything I need to know in order to properly-”

“No, no, don’t.” You stopped him, “It’ll be more fun if we get to teach you.” You cut him off, before revealing the mistletoe in your hand. “So then, do you know what this is?”

“I do believe it is the plant known as phoradendron leucarpum.” He said with a small smile, “Its more common name being ‘mistletoe’.”

“Very good.” You complimented, dangling it over both of your heads. “And...do you have any idea what its significance is on Christmas?”

“I do not.” He began slowly, “But I sense you are prepared to explain.”

“Absolutely.” You grinned, leaning close. Vision tilted his head, curious by the sudden lack of space between your bodies. But he didn’t float away, or let you phase through him (it had happened before, much to your chagrin), instead accepting your advance. “You see, when two people are caught under the mistletoe, they have to kiss.”

“Kiss?” He repeated, expression morphing into one of mild surprise. His eyes widened, if only for a fraction of a second- as if the wheels in his head had suddenly stopped turning. You smiled to yourself as you nodded.

“Indeed. It’s part of the Christmas tradition- and one of the oldest ones, at that. If you don’t, you’ll be cursed with bad luck for twenty years! ...Or something. You don’t want that now, do you?”

“...It has been proven that there is no scientific or factual evidence that proves the existence of luck, Ms. (Name).” Vision stated as best he could, but for some reason, he was finding it hard to speak. As if your amusement couldn’t get any bigger.

“Then let’s pretend for a second that you just want to kiss because it’s fun. For old time’s sake. What do you say?”

“I...I think it would be imprudent to perform such an action when there are cameras present-”

“I think you’re nervous.” Your observation silenced him instantly, making you giggle. “Don’t worry- I’ll take the lead.”

And without another word, you pushed forward, pressing your lips to his. A muffled sound of surprise escaped him, his entire body seizing up at the sudden contact. You smiled into the kiss, your hands falling to grip his shoulders.

Despite levitating, the man was as solid as a rock. For a second, you were worried you’d broken the poor android. Maybe he wasn’t ready for physical contact like this? Maybe he was so shocked by the kiss it jolted his system, and he couldn’t think.

“...” Your thoughts were put at ease when you felt him suddenly relax, Vision’s feet coming to touch the floor. He sank down so you weren’t grasping onto him, his hands coming up to rest on your arms. He tilted his head to deepen the kiss, much to your surprise.

But it was certainly a welcome one.

When you pulled away, you could only stare at each other, both surprised by their other half’s boldness.

“For someone who’s only been around nineteen weeks, you’ve got some pretty impressive skills."

If Vision’s face wasn’t already red, you were certain you made him blush. His gaze fell bashfully to the floor, a sheepish smile on his lips. “Yes, well- when you’ve the entire Internet at your disposal, learning about certain things becomes a simple task.”

“Of course it does.” You laughed, your hands yet to leave each other’s bodies. You noted the close proximity between the two of you, and even more how both of you had yet to pull away.

“However, I must correct you on one thing you taught me; if you do not kiss under the mistletoe, you will not be cursed with bad luck for twenty years.”

“Oh, no? What happens, then-?” Your breath hitched when he pulled in, his hands falling politely to your waist.

“I would have missed an intimate opportunity with you, Ms. (Name). That would have been a fate far worse than one riddled with misfortune.”

You were positive he could hear your heart crashing in your chest. “T-there’s no way you picked that up on the Internet.”

“He didn’t,” Wanda’s call made you both seize up, awkwardly breaking away to find her standing in the doorway with phone in hand, “I taught him that bit.”

“You didn’t.”

She grinned. “Oh, I am assuring you, I did. You will also be finding many pictures trending on the social medias, (Name). You are welcome.”

“...Vision, I forgot to teach you about another important holiday tradition.”

“Oh?”

“Have you ever seen Home Alone?”

“I have not.”

“What are you planning to-”

“There’s this one part where the kid in the movie gets all these really sharp, painful traps together and beats up these two crooks- I’m sure Wanda would love a reenactment.”

“You stay away from me, she-devil-!”

“That may not be a terrible idea. However, I would not recommend it in case Mr. Stark discovers our plans to torture Wanda-”

“Vision, not you, too!!”

“He’ll never find out.”

“DON’T YOU DARE!!”

“Let’s get her!!!”

“NOOOOOO!!”

~Ende~


Leucarpum, in case you didn't read ahead, is the shortened name of "mistletoe" xD
I love Vision so much// I wanted to write this for him so bad, he'd be so confused!!! I love the idea of a naive sentient being, and teaching him about all sorts of stuff. Even though he's basically a wise old man at the age of two, I figure it's never too late to have fun innocent Vision stories!

I hope you enjoyed reading!! ^^
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LadyCobblepot's avatar
Oh My Ghoul this is so frickin' hilarious! I love it!